Running to Stand Still
There was a time when my life was dedicated to music. Every spare minute was spent writing songs, singing, playing guitar and listening to music, either recorded or live. I went to at least one live gig a week, often more. I rubbed shoulders with an eclectic bunch of troubadours, some of whom have gone on to become international stars. Music pulsed through my veins. Lyrics framed my philosophies & my thinking.
For various reasons the amount of time I spent with music diminished over a period of time. When I first met my husband our musical tastes were polar opposites. While my passion was for singer-songwriter music based around meaningful lyrics and a tuneful melody, Arūnas was all about the beat and the base. He thought my music was boring and I thought his was noise. We both retreated to listening to music only when the other wasn’t around – there was no shared music.
As the years progressed our tastes converged and we gradually found our way back. He listens to his music in the gym and I listen to my music as I cook. We have found a radio station that suits us both. But I now have other priorities and interests and don’t dedicate vast chunks of time to music as I once did.
Right now I am exhausted. I’m totally and utterly exhausted in a way I haven’t experienced since I had glandular fever (mono) in my mid-teens. It’s like someone took my batteries out and I just went limp. It’s very peculiar for me because I am normally a bundle of energy. I’m also tenacious as bedamned, so even when I am a little tired I plough on regardless. For the last few weeks, though, I’ve really been struggling. I don’t know if I have a virus or if I just overdid the tenacity in the blazing August heat. But I’m beat.
The timing couldn’t be worse. I have TONS to do – tomatoes to can, cucumbers to pickle, zucchini to rescue from engorgement if left on the vine too long, onions to lift, caterpillars to remove, apples to pick, sweet peppers to roast and freeze, green beans to process, and so on and so on. Even writing the list makes me tired. I’m almost thankful that August has been dry and there are no mushrooms in the forests – otherwise that would be something else to add to the mix.
I’m struggling through it as best I can, trying to process at least a few veg each day to keep things chugging along. Come evening, though, and I can barely move my arms enough to type. The best I can do is sink into an easy chair and rest my weary bones. Maybe that’s what I need – a bit more rest. I’ll come round, I know – I always do.
And since I’m in this chair and can’t work, I might as well listen to some music. Some of the good stuff, with lyrics and a melody that reach into your soul, spark your fuse plugs and bring you back to life. Maybe these boys from the north side of Dublin might cheer me up. She’s running to stand still – just like me.
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Hi June, sorry to hear that your energy levels are so low. I’ve also been feeling more tired than I would have expected at this time of the school year. No where near as bad as you are describing though. I went to have some blood tests on Monday and the results came back yesterday saying I had low vitamin D levels. I’ve been informed this is not unusual in the Baltics. It may be worth getting yourself tested. It also appears thsat over that last 2 years your life seems to have been on full throttle. Perhaps it’s just your body saying it’s time for a rest. Hope you’re feeling better soon. I been told I need to learn to pace myself better. Sounds good advice.
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Thanks Andrew. Yeh, vitamin D could well be the problem – I’m definitely going to look into that. I’m taking a small break from everything for a week or two, so hopefully I’ll be right as rain again in no time.
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Your garden is coming along beautifully. Awesome! I didn’t know you had such musical talents! I’m impressed. Our family can barely hum, lol. That’s so funny when you talked about how you and Arunas liked different music. I used to tease Butler about his “head banger” music back when we met. Thank God we like pretty much the same stuff now. Funny how that happens. Hope your batteries have recharged by now and you are back up and running full speed 🙂
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Yeh, it’s funny how couples morph into each other over time. It’s just easier that way!
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Listen to your body and it’s intelligence. It knows you better than you do 🙂 It’s tough taking a break sometimes but we must do what the body is asking. As for mushrooms, I wish I could share,we have a ton in our forest, but sadly I am lacking the time to gather them.
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Thanks Amy. I’m seriously looking forward to a bit of down time. You’ve just reminded me we’ve had some rain over the last few days – today might be a good day to go and look for mushrooms. Me, hubs and the dog in the forest for a few hours – sounds like perfect therapy to me!
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I became aware of your blog after watching the HH International episode. I admire you both for your amazing talents. I hope you feel better soon.
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Thank you, Sharon – that’s very much appreciated.
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Take care of yourself and consider medical conditions: low thyroid? depression? chronic fatigue?
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Thanks Bunty. I’ll give it another week or so and if I’m still tired I’ll see a doctor. I have some holidays coming up, so hopefully that will help.
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August can be a tiring time, take it easy on yourself. But, yes, I agree, them Northside boyz will help in one way, they always do 😉 Keep well!
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Thanks Franck! I love the way we can make the biggest rock band in the world sound like our best pals – it’s such an Irish thing! But you’re right – they always help. 🙂
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You described Danny’s and my feelings about each others music well. He loves 80’s music.
That’s it… And I am not talking about the Country music of the 80’s that I love.
But then I like almost everything UP to the 90’s except HARD ROCK AND DISCO.
He was a musician and had a band.
Danny says the 80’s is MUSIC.. “It is worth listening to. ”
He can’t or WON’T listen to anything else.
I on the other hand am expected to listen to his when he feels like playing it.
He used to play it in the living room …..all the way up…..
The living room IS in the middle of the house. There is no escaping it.
The noise.
I am at the point in my life…..I can’t handle NOISE….period….
Every once in awhile I will turn Elvis up. Or Shania Twain. or a song I like. I would never THINK of doing it when he is around.
I love all different kinds of music.
When we first got together 12 years ago. I had either the stereo going or the radio on. Now the radio is never on…….And we don’t even have a stereo……
You are right…….music is still plays a huge part in our lives…..
We just have MELLOWED a bit . FIne tuned it to fit our lives.
Danny wears headphones now….MOST OF THE TIME.
I listen to it quietly if he is home.
June, I really enjoyed this post.
I am sorry to hear you haven’t felt “RIGHT” . Please get it checked out if it continues…..
Gentle hugs and prayers.
Love Sarah
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Thanks Sarah. It’s funny how music to one ear can be noise to another. Glad you guys have found a way to work around each other so you can still listen to what you like. (Oh – and Elvis rocks!)
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Ah June, don’t beat yourself up..It’s your body telling you to slow down. Give in to it. I know all about the veggies- it’s 11pm and I should be dealing with a large tomato crop… But… life goes on regardless of how wrecked we are. So please do take a bit of me-time. Enjoy the music! ..write your book……. 🙂
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Thanks Karen. I have promised myself I’ll take time to work on the book once the veggies are in. Just a few more weeks! In the meantime I will try to go a little slower.
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No mushrooms here either. I’m sorely disappointed, I tell you that!
You go relax till the courgettes that have turned into marrows have turned into space ships.
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Marrow spaceships – now there’s an idea for a book! Hope you’re enjoying your trip home, despite the lack of mushrooms.
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I understand! This year has been the absolute worst year for weeds in the Mid-Atlantic region where I live. It has been a losing battle, as I have watched my lovely perennial plants choked by weeds, including Crabgrass, which has been vicious this year. My gardening experience this year has been too much work and not enough enjoyment. Soon it will be time to start the Fall cleanup, and I’m already tired. I’m focusing on small, attainable goals. I am trying to keep the grass cut, and I had a major tidy up in my garden tool shed. My greenhouse is ready to work in. And the greatest accomplishment of the Summer is my new pond, which I can sit by and enjoy the frogs and fish that live there. I’m taking gardening, and life, a day at a time, and trying to enjoy small joys when I can. I hope that you will feel better soon! 🙂
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Oh, Angela – sounds like you’re struggling too. Small, attainable goals sounds like exactly the right approach. Sorry about your weeds but your pond sounds lovely. Maybe I should dig one of those… (Loud crash as I collapse!)
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Hi June. The only reason I’m reading your blog riight now is because I’m just too tired to move any more firewood. I’ve got cherries on the stove for canning today and pickles and zucchini to put up. I decided to take an hour to just rest. I thought it was just me.and my old age. Sounds like I was wrong. I’m so sorry you are wiped out, too. Sometimes I just laugh at people who say “Oh, I’ll just plant some seeds and live off the land!” Yeah, right. It’s ALOT of work. More than my body ever anticipated. But would I change it? No. And neither would you. Hang in there, my Lithuanian sister. We can do this! By the way, thanks for sharing that song. I loved it. You’ve got great taste in music, no matter what Arunas thinks. 🙂
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Thanks Susan! Yes, we live a nice, relaxed life out here in the country! You’re right – I wouldn’t change it. But I wouldn’t mind the odd day off! Hope you’re own fruit and veg are doing well for you. I don’t know about you but I’ve learned so much this year about my land and what grows well for me. I’m planning an even bigger plot for next year! Thankfully I’ll have winter to recover, first.
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I totally agree. The learning curve has been steep this year. But I’ve learned alot and have big plans for next year. I want to try the “three sisters” approach to maximize my space: corn, beans and winter squash. But I’ll have to compost like crazy over the winter. C’mon rabbits, let’s get to it!
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Always look forward to reading your posts. I envy your lifestyle and it certainly sounds like very hard work but, at the same time, you don’t have to answer to anyone and you are working for yourselves. The harvest time will come to an end and maybe then you can put your feet up! 🙂
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Thanks Janet. Yeh, I love this lifestyle and wouldn’t swap it for anything, but it really is hard work sometimes. I know this is the busiest period and that it’s nearly over. It is starting to wind down, thankfully. Only a few more weeks and the feet will be up!
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Oh gosh – I do hope the energy returns soon …. in the meantime – keep listening to the good stuff and try to stay afloat 🙂
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Thanks Osyth. I’m not good at doing tired, but I am enjoying the music!
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